When we are young there are things that we do that were harmful to either us or to someone else. Once we survive that event the phrase "I hope you learned your lesson". We routinely answer that we definitely have and we will never do that again...until the next time we do it and it starts all over again. Guess what? That doesn't change as an adult. We may not be doing anything that will physically hurt us or anyone else but we do things that spiritually, emotionally, financially or relationally affect us. We do those things and then we feel really bad because we did and then we vow to never do that again or put ourselves in that situation again... until the next time. It may not be anytime soon but it will come back up. There will be some trigger that comes our way and we justify it by saying we will do it differently this time or not as long or as much or spend a little less or not deal with this specific kind of person. You are not fooling anyone but yourself. You are the only that things that you can get away with it the way that you think you will. You are that kid again and think it will be different this time but you're doing the same thing. The actual definition of insanity. Stop it. Understand that the only way for things to be different is to do different. Sometimes it is a spiritual battle that you are fighting. The Bible tells that we wrestle not again flesh and blood, which means that who or what we looking at is not the issue. It is the spirit behind it that is drawing you in.
I was listening to Jonathan McReynolds "Cycles" driving home and one of the lyrics to this songs says "See the devil, he learns from your mistakes, Even if you don't, That's how he keeps you in cycles". See although you may not learn from your mistakes the devil does and he knows what triggers you and will always find ways to get you back to where you don't want to be. But see the Bible also says that the Lord will make a way of escape for you, so there is always a way out or away from whatever you are dealing with. You just have to hear it or see it or feel it and go with that feeling which may be uncomfortable but you know it is the right thing to do. Do it and stop the cycle. Learn you lesson.
