Expectations


When you do something for someone are you expecting something back? Is that the only reason you are doing it? Does the person that you are doing it for know that you are expecting something from them in return for what you are doing for them? If not then stop waiting for something and holding them accountable for something that they don't know you expect from them. If you didn't explicitly tell them what you expected, then don't hold them accountable for it. Also, if you are doing it because it is out of the kindness of your heart then don't hold what you are doing for them over their head. Don't pull the "remember when I did (fill in the blank) for you, you could at least do this for me." This is horrible and can ruin relationships. They thought is was something you did to be nice and now you are holding it against them. They will probably do what you want them to but things will never be the same between you all again.


So now here's the question for you, whose fault is it that the expectation was not met? Is it you because you didn't tell them what was expected because you were doing something for them? Did you assume that they knew or understood? Or is it the person that you are doing something for because they just didn't deliver on their end of the deal or did they act like they didn't hear you when you said what they need to do in return? Or is it "nobody's' fault because you assumed one thing and they assumed something different? I have seen so many court shows that deal with unmet expectations. These happen between friends, family, in business transactions, you name it. So what do we do to resolve it?


The first thing we need to do is do a self evaluation as to why we are giving this person something. Are we doing it to be helpful and not looking for anything back? Are we doing it with an expectation of getting something in return? Are we doing it with hopes of getting something in return? You have to be perfectly clear with your intentions before you give what you do. Then, when you give it to them, make it perfectly clear to them as well as what you do or don't expect from them. By doing this, you remove all guess work and potential confusion or negative thoughts toward each other.

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